Volume III
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Contents

"After the Long Day" photo is actually a self-portrait!

After being ejected from several construction sites, Roseann Dreasher (fotoshootme) managed to sneak herself onto a government site during at around 3pm when the workers were napping after a beer break. She setup her tripod, grabbed one of the workers hard-hats and started shooting.

Our Investigative Team managed to get one of fotoshootme's Construction outtakes:

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IN THEATRES JULY 4th!

He could see in the dark,
but he had... NO HAIR!

D & L Continue to Languish at GTMO!
<< Related Story

Although the "Suicide Plot" turned out to be false, Drew and Langdon are still being held at the Guantanamo Detention Facility. "They are obviously some sort of subversives and we'll find out what they're up to if it takes all year." a government spokesman told the Enquirer.

Langdon Languishes


Drew Recruits New DPCers

Both inmates have compiled a list of complaints of human rights abuses, including:
Leaky Air Conditioning, overcooked chicken, Creme Bruleé only 2 nights a week, nothing but Cuban channels on the cable and a slow internet connection.

"It's like we're friggin Pol Pot or running a Nazi concentration camp down there!" one well-known Senator stated at a recent session of Congress. Amnesty International is investigating.

"Mass Suicide Plot" Turns Out To Be Simply a Large Number of Similar Ideas for the Decision Challenge

Federal authorities monitoring internet activity thought they had uncovered a mass suicide plot by DPC members. The sophisticated technology used for monitoring can detect the context of images uploaded anywhere on the internet. The system automatically sends a warning when it detects a potential conspiracy. The system has been used successfully in the past to thwart terrorist attacks, kidnappings and other criminal intent. It has also been rumored to be used by some members of Congress to detect Judicial nominees by the President, giving them time to develop their fillibuster strategy.

When Federal Agents charged in to DPC headquarters, they found Drew and Langdon playing XBox and eating Pizza. The two were sent to Guantanamo Bay Detention facility for questioning while experts searched the hard drives of the DPC supercomputers to find the identities of those thought to be involved in the plot.

As it turned out, agents found that the pictures were entries in the Decision challenge and there was no evidence of any plot. "Lots of members just think alike." one DPCer told reporters.


Agents search the DPC ice chest for evidence, but all they find are potato chips and Jolt Cola.


Shocking Evidence of Fowl Play in the Red Ribbon Winner of the Birds Challenge!

Our crack investigative team has uncovered an outtake from arnit's "Balance" entry. The photo clearly shows the bird's leg was cruelly cut off with a hacksaw for a more dramatic effect. Informants told the Enquirer that arnit cut off the leg and then started taken shots. "The poor bird kept falling over and the guy would run over, stand it back up, and run back to the camera. This went on for hours!" one anonymous witness told us.

Our team traveled to Iceland to get a response from arnit about the accusations, but he would not admit to anything and hid his face from our cameras.

"I don't even look like a criminal
and I don't own a hacksaw!"